Vaginal Davis is truly one of a kind. Part vamp, part joker, part avant garde artiste, she's an actor, singer, writer, raconteur and, most of all, a natural born performer. Both wild and cultured, she's the one you can't help but watch when she enters a room. But enough of all that, Ms Davis is about to leave her native Los Angeles and come on over to our grey shores as a guest of a number of prestigious organisations. Don't miss her!

In the meantime, here's Vag's take on everything from Keanu Reeves to Prince Harry. Read it and weep.

So what's bringing you over to the UK this time around?
Well, my lovely dearest, for starters I'm hosting and performing a tiny excerpt from my new performance piece Orifice Descending. I’m also DJing and showcasing my Trespass Cinema collection of outrages films and videos at the closing party of the New Moves Festival in Glasgow.

I'm also auditioning bubble-butt red-headed boys to be a part of the décor of the festivities as living art, in an installation I'm calling The Ginger Concubines. It should be something else.

Ron Athey, and Franko B, who is the artist in residency at this event, will be in attendance and Franko is also responsible for them bringing me out. Kisses Franko you're the best.

By the way, if any hot, buttery, uninhibited boys up the Northern way want to be a part of my installation, please send me your stats - including feral endowments - so that I can audition you in person when I arrive in Glasgow.

They should email my UK intern Andrea Novarin at woldham@yahoo.com and also send me picks c/o my US assistant Gleeson Brevard at gleebrevard@aol.com.

What’s on after Glasgow?
I'll continue on to London where I will do a lecture / performance at the Courtauld Art Institute. I'll be showcasing a juicy selection of my own favourite experimental videos, and regale you with stories of my scandalous sex-charged career, including my Larry Flynt-like rise to publishing moguldom with the Fertile La Toyah Jackson zine, and the backstage catfights of my art rock bands Black Fag, Cholita, the female Menudo, The Afro Sisters, Pedro, Muriel & Esther (PME) and collaborations with Bruce La Bruce, Larry Wachowski (of The Matrix) David Harrow of Technova, Beck and the ultimate "T" on how I broke up the Hollywood golden couple Brad and Jen.

The Courtauld Institute is pretty fancy, do you think they know what they're in for?
An evening spent in my company is like getting sucked into a conceptual vortex where unleashed dementia and high delusional drag (is there any other kind?) rule. This is a not-to-be-missed rare opportunity to experience a sexy and shameless interactive romp of intimate personal counselling and fashion revelation, so all of Great Britain needs to take advantage of me while they can!

Yes, the Courtauld is pretty fancy-schmancy, and no, I don't think they really realise what I'm all about. The very foundations of British society are going to be levelled. Dominic Johnson, the gifted young scholar, independent curator and art critic with Frieze Magazine is responsible for my visit, so he'll be blamed when the excrement hits the fan.

Are there any Brits that you'd like me to set you up with?
I'd love an audience with Prince Harry. I certainly fancy those ginger boys - yummy, that's my cup of tea in the morning, noon or eve. I also wouldn't mind being fixed up with some fit rugby or football playing lads. And I have my eyes on that Muslim Olympic British boxing champ Amir Khan - he's tasty, and the drug addled Pete Dougherty of the Libertines - I adore drug messes 

How come you have so many celebrity friends?
Celebrities appreciate that I'm not a sycophant. I give it to them straight whether they want to hear it or not. Most of the times they don't, but that doesn't un-nerve me. They eventually always come back for more Ms Davis. Even if it’s against their better, or bitter, judgement. Believe you me, I'm not an easy person to be friends with.

By the way, both Sir Moz and PJ Harvey have been living in LA for a while and frequent my roaring 20s club Bricktops at the Parlourclub. Both want to sing some old music hall ditties a la Beatrice Lillie or Gertrude Lawrence. The invitation is open, and they are welcome any time.

Speaking of which, can you get me alone in a room with Keanu Reeves? I had a dream in which he said that he liked fat dykes like me
Of course I can. In fact he adores full-figured dykes and daggers. Both he and his mom, Patrick Reeves, are dag hags. His mother's Laughlin Park compound in the Los Feliz section of LA is a veritable haven for wayward Sisters of Bilitis. I was just there the other day and Pat had activist, singer / writer Nomy Lamm and her new group Tricrotic performing with gay rapper/thug Dead Lee.

When I see photos of you with other people, they always look scared, or at least nervous. What are your tips for turning terror to your advantage?
I'm an unpredictable commodity, one never knows what I'll say or do. I'm also prone to violent rages being that I'm a bit bipolar, or maybe saying I'm bipolar is my excuse for bad behaviour.

Anything else you want to say? Don't hold back
After my trip to the UK in February I'll be back in April for the conference Theorising Queer Visualities in Manchester. World-renowned artists / scholars and thinkers of queer and the visual will engage in polemical debates about the state of queer visualities, accompanied by an exhibition at the Whitworth Art Gallery, and a performance that I will do at Contact Theatre.

It’s going to be such a mega event and will also include a reception at the Cornerhouse galleries. The visionary behind this conference is the acclaimed writer and teacher Amelia Jones who is a Professor and Pilkington Chair in Art History, and Visual Studies at the University of Manchester - whew what a mouthful all that was. So you can see I'm a lady with a schedule.

For more info on Vaginal Davis' international appearances and to read her electrifying blog go to www.VaginalDavis.com.

Vaginal Davis Dates: Sunday 13 February 2005
New Moves Festival: The Arches, 253 Argyle Street, Glasgow
Box office: 0870 240 7528

Artist talk by Vaginal Creme Davis: Wednesday 16 February
The Courtauld Institute, Somerset House, Strand, London
Info: 020 7848 2777

Theorising Queer Visualities: 15-16 April, plus student conference 17 April
Contact Theatre, Oxford Road, Manchester
Box office: 0161 274 0600

See Vaginal Davis in Bruce LaBruce's Super 8 1/2. The DVD comes with the extra feature No Skin Off My Ass so buy online and save!