Check out the Jesse Metcalfe gallery

The nation might be glued to their TV sets every Wednesday night watching the secrets and lies of Wisteria Lane’s female inhabitants, but let’s not overlook one of the most titillating boy toys to hit our screens in years – Jesse Metcalfe.

Desperate housewives? Per-lease! There’s nothing desperate about it. Playing John, Gabrielle Solis’ 17-year-old gardener, Jesse spends more time bedding her than the geraniums. Gabrielle knows a good thing when she sees it though and let’s face it, who in their right mind would turn down the chance of having Jesse mow their lawn or trim their bush on a regular basis?

Househusbands’ choice? I’ll say!

Name
Jesse Eden Metcalfe (after Garden of Eden obviously).

Vitals
Born 9 December 1978 in Connecticut.

Famous For
His green fingers, which used to spend all their time down Gabrielle’s knickers. However, now that she’s decided her husband can tend to her weeding, it would be a bloomin’ travesty if Jesse’s tools went rusty through lack of use.

Someone Call The Toy Boy Police
You don’t need to be an unhappily married housewife to see the benefits of Jesse tending to your daffodils – and I’m not talking about the one’s Morrissey likes to stick in his back pocket either.

We’re not sure he realises it yet, but Britain’s gay men are demanding a chance to pollinate his stamen too! Personally, I think it’s a disgrace. What’s wrong with coming round to my backyard and giving it a good clear out Jesse? I’ve had turf that needs laying for ages now and I’d recommend you to all of my friends - once you’d sowed your seeds.

Oh dear, someone hose me down.

How Does Your Garden Grow?
If Jesse’s biceps are anything to go by, we’re thinking great redwood rather than bonsai.

Baby Face, You’ve Got The Cutest Little Baby Face
Jesse is part Italian, French and Portuguese - no wonder he’s so hot with all that Mediterranean blood coursing through his veins.

Worth Knowing
Home grown director Duncan Roy has snapped Jesse up to star in his forthcoming adaptation of A Picture of Dorian Gray, due for release next year. Maybe his role in Oscar Wilde’s classic will make him more man f(r)ond? [For those of you who aren’t trained horticulturists, a frond is a leaf of a fern. Now fond of men we can cope with! Ed.]

Jesse nearly missed out on his part in Desperate Housewives because The O.C. wanted to cast him as their new, often shirtless, landscaping lover D.J. Can’t see what’s wrong in being typecast myself.

The Things They Say…
"I work out five times a week. If my shirt's off all the time on national television with 20 million people watching, I want to look my best!" As I live and breathe I don’t think I’ve heard a more sensible statement in my life.

“It might be difficult for me to shed my beefcake label.” Let’s hope so.

Jesse on his character John: “John’s very naive and idealistic. I’m a little more cynical and a lot more experienced.” Hah! Wait until I get my hands on you petal.

“I certainly wouldn’t date someone much younger than me. It’s frustrating to be with someone who doesn’t have the same life experience.” I could give you all the experience you need.

“I think people have had enough of me as your typical hunk for a while.” What?! He has soooo much to learn and we know who’d like to teach him, don’t we?

“There are a lot of women interested in me, but I have to make a judgment about if they’re interested for the right reasons.” Hey! Sweet pea, wake up and smell the coffee. It’s not just women you know.

Availability
If your name’s Peat you might be in with a chance, but it’s plain as the day is long that young Jesse needs some serious male corruption. Shoot me for wishful thinking, but if he doesn’t get it on with his flatmate Justin, played by Ryan Carnes (look out for next week’s Totty Watch), some time soon, I’ll start growing my own vegetables.

Juicy Justin recently realised he’s just a humble homo who’s hot to trot and fertile Jesse would be a great place to start. We’re rooting for them all the way.

Give Me More
Get your shirt off and come and dig my hole, this guy is tasty!

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Buy the DVD of gay summer of love flick, Presque Rien online and save yourself some money to put towards Beau Travail, Drole De Felix and Ma Vie.