Check out the Chris Evans gallery
Unlike his homegrown namesake, Chris Evans is nothing like The Big Ginger One. The American version is a 24-year-old beefcake with a remarkably defined rectus abdominus and the undeniable star of Fantastic Four, Johnny Storm. [Sounds more like a gay porn star to me! Ed.]
The film’s trailer boasts that Johnny can “ignite at will”, but Totty Watch doesn’t think he needs artificial fire to hot up the proceedings and we’ve adopted him as our own little fireball. Chris can turn up the heat anytime he likes. Ouch!
Name
Christopher Robert Evans (nickname Cevans)
Vitals
Born 13 June 1981 in Massachusetts, USA.
Bow Before The Storm
Johnny Storm’s idea of a first date is jumping out of a helicopter and snow boarding down the side of an icy mountain and then bursting into flames and creating a skinny-dipping pool. He can heat up to supernova temperatures, which means he’s so hot he could set the earth on fire!
Well, I don’t know about the rest of the human race but my pants were more than warm when he was wandering around the screen in just a bath towel. Totty Watch isn’t certain though that the fur he sports on his chiselled abs and smoking pecs in Fantastic Four are such a good look, but these minor misdemeanours are easily remedied. Where there’s a will, there’s a way and it involves a razor and lots of shaving cream!
Come On Baby Light My Fire
When Chris watched some of his older friends head off for the bright lights of New York he thought he’d give it a go too. After playing receptionist and befriending movie agents (read casting couch) he landed himself roles in three TV pilots that eventually got the chop. He wasn’t to be deterred though and eventually found his niche playing the good-looking joker.
In Not Another Teen Movie, a vulgar satire that spoofed corny adolescent flicks, he plays Jake Wyler, an all American jock who dates the plain Jane character to win a bet. Jake reckons he can transform the prissy Janey into a porn star, but falls in love with her before he gets the chance. That’s OK, because she isn’t really a plain Janey at all, but a ravishing beauty once her specs and Alice band have been removed. You know the drill.
The film’s original choice of title was Ten Things I Hate About Clueless Road Trips When I Can't Hardly Wait to Be Kissed. Nuff said. It may be the sort of film that you’d never admit to enjoying in front your Guardian reading friends, but it does have Chris trying out a seduction routine wearing only whipped cream on his bits. Worth the embarrassing confession I’d say.
Chris was back on our screens in The Perfect Score alongside Erika Christensen and Scarlett Johansson and saved Kim Basinger from evil kidnappers in Cellular. He’s recently teamed up with Totty Watch fave Cillian Murphy for Danny Boyle’s Sunshine, where a team of astronauts set out into space on a mission their predecessors have failed to return from. All sounds very un-Danny Boyle like to us.
Friendly Fire
“It’s every kid’s dream to be a superhero. What guy here didn’t wrap a towel around his shirt and run around the living room?” Eh?!
He told thecinemasource.com “I just don't feel like a movie star or a celebrity but a kid that gets to act in movies."
“It's nice to go home and be reminded you're a geek”
Commentary on the Cellular DVD predicts that Chris is the next Tom Cruise. What an insult. We think he should sue.
Riding The Storm
Chris has been dating actress Jessica Biel, who had a small part in Cellular, and they’ll be starring together in a new film called London later in the year. Totty Watch can’t see any reason why Chris Evans and his Fantastic Four co-star Ioan Gruffud can’t just forget about girls and saving the world and take it in turns to be top and bottom.
Give Me More
Light up your own life with some hot pics of the 24-year-old beefcake! Mmm lovely.
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