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Fun : Totty Watch
TW: Mark Wahlberg
11 Apr 2007
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Check out the Mark Wahlberg gallery

The archetypal bad boy turned good, Mark Wahlberg has more than a chequered past. He might be huge in the underwear department, but his reputation as a homophobic lout hasn't impressed gay and anti-racist groups over the years.

A life spent rucking and stealing on the streets as a child earned him a stint in prison. He emerged buffed, beautiful and dedicated to turning his life around. His con artist talents laid the groundwork for his acting prowess and the combination of good Catholic roots and a tattoo of rosary beads around his neck eased his conscience.

Adored as well as pilloried by the gay community, he's a gay icon and a suspected homophobe all rolled into one. So will the real Marky Mark please stand up?

Name
Mark Robert Michael Wahlberg - 'Marky Mark'

Vitals
Born on 5 June 1971 in Boston, Massachusetts.

Famous For
When Mark's older brother Donnie was hitting the big time with New Kids on the Block, little Marky was busy taking out the eyes of Vietnamese refugees and spending a 45 day stint in prison for his trouble. Donnie was convinced there was more to his little Marky than a life of thuggery and racism and helped put together Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch.

Do you remember their huge hit 'Wildside'? No? Their cover of 'Good Vibrations'? No?! What about pictures of Marky Mark getting his six-pack out and dropping his pants on stage? Thought so. You weren't the only one who noticed that little Marky would be better described as Big Mark because Calvin Klein snapped him up to model their underwear.

Only someone suffering from amnesia or Alzheimer's could forget those ads. Grannies were outraged, distracted drivers crashed into each other in Times Square and every flabby bellied male under the age of 75 wept.

Does He Hate Man On Man Action?
Along with his tackle, his adventurous past was also thrust into the limelight. He dug his own grave when he appeared alongside Shabba Ranks who proclaimed that gays and lesbians should be crucified. Mark stayed mute, but his silence spoke volumes to the Gay and Lesbian Alliance who set up a pressure campaign and demonstrated in front of his ads. He's been trying to appease the gay community ever since.

He told one interviewer: "When you're standing there in your underwear, there's only one or two ways people can look at you. But I was comfortable with that. My image went from being this hard-core street kid to me covering up the street image to get a gay following, to people thinking I was gay, to people thinking I was anti-gay. Finally, I was like, What the fuck? I'm just entertaining people who want me to entertain them."

How ‘Big’ Is He Really?
The ultimate underpants filler cashed in on his decadent past and massive schlong by playing Dirk Diggler in Boogie Nights. Based on John Holmes, the most famous porn star of all time, speculation was rife that Mark hadn't needed any help replicating Holmes' whopping 13-inch penis. With the critical acclaim that followed his performance Big Mark had become Massive Mark overnight.

Since then he hasn't looked back. Starring opposite George Clooney in The Perfect Storm and Three Kings. He told Australian gay mag Blue: "I think George has got a thing for me. I've definitely got a thing for George, so it works out good. He's just so good-looking."

He went on to star in a worthy remake of The Italian Job and starred as an existential fireman in I Heart Huckabees. His latest project is the testosterone filled Shooter, an action-packed thriller about a former Marine Corps sniper who leaves the military after a mission goes bad. After being double crossed again, Wahlberg is our for revenge and does it by looking rather hunky (yes, I know he may or may not still be a real-life homophobe, but I can’t help it) and showing off his chest and legs and boy, does he still look good.

Worth Knowing
He has nine brothers and sisters and grew up in a three-bedroom house. He started the Mark Wahlberg Foundation for underprivileged children.

As well as the rosary beads tattoo he has one of Tweetie-Pie and Sylvester on his leg, Bob Marley on his left arm and his initials on his right. He also has a third nipple.

In 1992 Mark dedicated his book Marky Mark to his penis. (Wouldn't you?) He claims men still openly check him out whenever he's in a public toilet. (Ditto).

Availability
His sins of the past can never be redeemed until he lets the gay community see what's really inside those underpants. Play on the Catholic guilt we say. Works every time.

Give Me More
If you want to check out his package, six pack and pants – and who doesn’t? – take a look at the pics below! Hot, hot, hot….

Want to suggest a future Totty Watch? Get In Touch 

Buy I Heart Huckabees on DVD today and save some money!

Author: Richard Scott
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