Check out the Val Kilmer gallery
Val Kilmer’s temper tantrums and hissy fits have been well documented over the years and he’s gained a reputation for being a difficult so and so. But who doesn’t love a drama especially when it involves a queen of Val’s calibre?
This week Totty Watch has a severe bout of Val-vulitis, an inflammation of the valves of the heart, (if you don’t believe us, look it up) because the gorgeously complicated Val Kilmer hits our cinema screens as a queer private dick called Gay Perry in the hot new buddy movie, Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang alongside that other little tearaway Robert Downey Jr. Let’s hope the film lives up to its title.
Name
Val Edward Kilmer
Vitals
Born 31 December 1959, Los Angeles, USA
Val-idate
Volatile Val’s acting career started over 20 years ago in the hilarious spoof Top Secret. Shortly after he was strong competition for Tom Cruise as ‘Iceman’ in Top Gun and his unnervingly realistic portrayal of doomed rock legend Jim Morrison in The Doors proved he had more than just a pretty face.
As the Caped Crusader in Batman Forever his mega-star status was cemented in 1995, but Val’s popularity plummeted with rumours of diva behaviour and director Joel Schumacher vowed he would never work with the actor again. Similar sentiment came from John Frankenheimer after directing him on The Island of Dr. Moreau and at one point Val had to be forcibly removed from the set.
Val-ium
“It’s probably fair to say I have taken myself too seriously on some jobs. I’m sure I’m more guilty of being difficult than I’d like to remember. I don’t regret my desires; I’ve regretted the way I would communicate my desires,” he told Premiere magazine.
Seems that a chill pill wouldn’t go amiss and the punters who paid to see their heart-throb on the London stage in The Postman Always Rings Twice were none too pleased when Val didn’t even turn up. He claimed he had a severe bout of gastroenteritis, but that didn’t stop him partying until all hours after watching tennis at Wimbledon the day before.
Val-ue Added Val
Val hasn’t always been a testy troublemaker and there are reasons why he’s refused to work with accomplished directors such as Robert Altman and David Lynch.
“I turned down Blue Velvet because it was really graphic and I was too shy,” and he said no to Patrick Swayze’s role in Dirty Dancing because he didn’t want to be perceived as a “hunk”.
He’d obviously lost his inhibitions by the time he played porn star John Holmes in Wonderland. With a 13-inch penis to fill his trousers and 14,000 conquests under his belt, Holmes was a sex god like never before. That is until he got mixed up with drug dealers and found himself facing a murder charge.
Val was critically acclaimed for the role and we’re not sure how much “Method” acting was involved, but he stuffed his face to play the rather portly, one-eyed King Philip in swords and sandals clunker Alexander.
“Everything hurt, I felt like I was pregnant. I made noises just getting out of bed and thought I’d never have sex again. It was horrible.” What sort of noises does he mean we wonder?
We think it might be fair to say that you get more than you bargained for when you employ Val. His son Jack got a little upset when he realised how seriously his dad was taking his new role as a gay private detective in Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang.
“When I had my nails done my son said, ‘Can’t you take that polish off?’ He was embarrassed when I took him to school.”
In that case it’s a good job Jack didn’t see him in a dress playing Moses in The Ten Commandments last year. As far as the American press were concerned the biblical musical couldn’t even keep the burning bush alight let alone the audience.
Val-iant
He did his own singing while playing Jim Morrison in The Doors and the members of the original band said they had difficulty distinguishing his voice from that of the real rock star.
Out of all the actors to have played Batman, creator Bob Kane thought Val was the best.
Val went to high school with Kevin Spacey and inspired him to become an actor.
He has a mixture of Swedish, German, Mongolian, Scottish, Irish and Cherokee blood running through his veins.
Val is another hunky actor who likes to write poetry. He once wrote an ode for Michelle Pfeiffer and published a book of poems called My Eden After Burns.
“Poetry is a very subjective and intimate expression,” he says. “It’s literally your heartbeat. Your rhythm. The song of your soul. It’s super concentrated. It’s a dense piece of yourself.” Right you are Val”
Be My Val-entine
In 1988 he married British actress Joanne Whalley after meeting her on the fantasy flick Willow, but they divorced after seven years of marriage. He’s currently single despite having dated a string of beautiful women such as Cindy Crawford, Drew Barrymore, Cher and Daryl Hannah.
We know what he needs don’t we ......
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Buy Val's first movie, Top Secret, a spoof from the creators of the Naked Gun online today. Or if you fancy something a little more serious, catch him in the thriller Heat.