The ancient story of legendary hero Beowulf has been adapted for the big screen as a striking animated fantasy starring Ray Winstone, Angelina Jolie and Anthony Hopkins. It’s an absolute riot of vivid, bloodthirsty, excitement and if at all possible should be seen in IMAX 3D.

Beowulf originated as an epic poem somewhere around 700AD and is held in historical circles as a defining piece of English literature. How serious we’re meant to take Robert Zemeckis’ CGI-ed version I’m not sure, but the timeless themes of a flawed hero destroyed by boastful pride and sexual lust are clearly evident.

King Hrothgar (Anthony Hopkins) holds elaborate drinking sessions for his subjects, but the monster Grendel (Crispin Glover), who resembles one of Gunther von Hagens flayed cadavers with a dose of smallpox, keeps gate crashing the parties. The ultimate pooper he slaughters most of the revelers and then returns to the swamp for a dose of Oedipal approval from his serpent mother (Angelina Jolie).

Enter legendary hero Beowulf (Ray Winstone), 6 foot 6 inches of pure Viking beefcake, who just happens to be passing and offers his assistance in slaying the demon.

In a hilarious sequence the brawny Dane fights Grendel in the buff. Zemeckis has adopted the Austin Powers tactic of covering Beowulf’s naughty bits (find any inanimate object to appear in just the right place at just the right time), rather than the Viggo approach (let it all hang out). I was so distracted trying to spot salient bits of anatomy I virtually missed the fight to the death where Beowulf eventually rips out Grendel’s arm before he slinks back to his mother and dies.

As reward King Hrothgar gives Beowulf his much younger wife Queen Wealhtheow (Robin Wright Penn) as well as his kingdom. But the jubilations are short-lived because Grendel’s mother is out for revenge.

Watching Beowulf in 3D is a magical experience. Feeling fully immersed in the action you’ll jolt backwards when characters leap out of the screen and flinch when a detached limb comes hurtling towards you. Beowulf slaying a sea monster and jumping out of its eye followed by a hefty spurt of retinal blood is a particularly tense moment.

Lying somewhere between cartoon and reality ‘performance capture’ technology, which Zemeckis used with lesser effect in Polar Express, makes the animation spookily lifelike because the actors’ interpretation of everything is maintained.

This style of CGI emphasises the actors’ best physical attributes to such a heightened aesthetic plastic surgeons would bottle it if they could. As the only physically unrecognisable actor Winstone probably never imagined he could look so buff and only won the role because Zemeckis thought his voice sounded like a heroes. Winstone’s Cockney lilt remains intact, but he looks like Sean Bean with the body of Brad Pitt in Troy. He must be chuffed.
 
The good spirited Jolie camps up her femme fatale notoriety and could be playing the tabloid version of herself as her seduction routine brings the downfall of two kings. Jolie is made even more beautiful as she elevates from the swamp dripping in liquid gold that covers her naughty bits. Her long serpent’s tail swishes around her perfect CGI-ed form before resting near her feet shaped like 4-inch stilettos. Yes, stilettos. She’s a dream creation for all persuasions.

John Malkovich does a nice turn as jealous courtier Unferth with bloodshot eyes lurking in the shadows waiting for Beowulf to mess up, but his potential beastliness is abandoned mid-flow. In contrast to the exaggerated realism Wright Penn and Alison Lohman are expressionless to the point of dazed by the proceedings.

Updated for the 21st century Beowulf scriptwriters Neil Gaiman and Roger Avary take huge liberties with the text that will no doubt upset scholars, but seems a perfectly reasonable way to fill in the gaps of why Beowulf betrays his new kingdom and why he’s attacked by a dragon in old age. Their script makes Beowulf more than an exaggerated video game on a big screen.

Beowulf is released in the UK on 16 November 2007

You can see more animated adventures featuring scantily clad men with muscles in the 2 disc edition of the Spartan epic 300, buy it online here and save some money.