As World AIDS Day looms on 1 December, some of the UK’s top HIV experts talk about a range of issues close to home. One of those issues is the fact that a third of all new HIV infections occur within a relationship, warns GMFA’s Matthew Hodson.

For natural ecstatic pleasure there’s not much that beats falling in love. You live in a state of constant excitement, you laugh at all the same things, you get breathless at the thought of seeing him and even more breathless at the thought of seeing him naked. From a health perspective there's even evidence that men who are lucky in love will live longer lives. But love's health record is not spotless.
 
A recent UK study estimated that about a third of all new HIV infections occur within the context of relationships. It’s easy to see why. Men in relationships are more likely to have sex without condoms than men who are single. Often neither partner takes the responsibility for the decision to dispense with the condoms. It just happens.
 
Some couples absolutely know that they share the same HIV status, but that knowledge depends upon giving each other detailed and honest sexual histories - which can be a romance killer - or HIV testing. When you’re going through that crazy-in-love stage it's easy to believe that everything about your new partner is perfect for you. I've met several men who instinctively believed that their new man was HIV negative - and who staked their health on that belief - only to find out that they were mistaken.

When about a third of HIV positive men don't know that they themselves have been infected, it's naïve indeed to believe you can guess your new boyfriend's status.
 
If you think your love is going to last forever, then there’s no need to rush things. If you don’t want to spoil the romance by having that frank discussion about the notches on your respective bedposts - or trotting off to the clinic hand in hand - then you’re likely to be better off keeping your romance sexually safe.

Throwing away the condoms doesn't prove that it's love. Protecting his health, and protecting your own, is a better way of showing that you really care.

For more about GMFA, HIV/AIDS and other Sexually Transmitted Infections visit www.gmfa.org.uk

World AIDS Day: 1 December
For more about World AIDS Day and HIV/AIDS, plus awareness and fundraising events in your area visit www.worldaidsday.org

Useful Links

AIDS Map, www.aidsmap.com
Crusaid, www.crusaid.org.uk
GMFA, www.gmfa.org.uk
HIV i-Base, www.i-base.info
HIV Scotland, www.hivscotland.org.uk
Living Well, www.livingwelluk.com
National AIDS Trust, www.nat.org.uk
Positively Women, www.positivelywomen.org.uk
Stop AIDS Campaign, www.stopaidscampaign.org.uk
Terrence Higgins Trust, www.tht.org.uk
THT: HIV and AIDS, www.tht.org.uk/informationresources/hivandaids
World AIDS Day, www.worldaidsday.org