When Paul O’Grady was just starting out as Lily Savage, performing to the proverbial two-men-and-a-dog on the notoriously tough pub circuit, he can little have imagined that the path he was embarking on would lead him to his own daily TV show, BAFTA recognition, and getting an MBE in the Queen’s birthday honours. Yet here he is, with his royally-bestowed honour, a new series of The Paul O’Grady Show about to start, and an eagerly-awaited autobiography hitting the shops.

It seems that all is well in the world of O’Grady, and the man himself can’t quite believe it. Gratifyingly, the letters after his name have not blunted O’Grady’s famously caustic wit, or taken the edge off his humorously cantankerous persona. Here, he reveals how he almost missed out on his MBE, what scared him witless on a trip to Palermo, and why he’s finally won the approval of the local kids where he lives.

Paul O’Grady MBE. Have you got used to that yet?
What? You’re joking. If the 'Daily Mail' readers are looking for proof that the country has gone to the dogs, there’s your proof!

How did you find out about it?
I got a letter. But I’ve got a weird friend who always sends me letters, looking really official, saying, ‘Dear Mr O’Grady, We have reason to believe you are running a brothel at weekends,’ or, ‘Dear Mr O’Grady, this baby-farming has got to cease'. So I thought it was one of those. I thought it was quite a weak attempt. And then they rang up and said, "Why haven’t you sent your letter back?" And then the penny dropped. So I rang the family and my sister. It was my cousin in Ireland, a lovely old fella, who said, "It would be very crass and ignorant if you turned it down".

It’s double cause for celebration, as you’ve finally finished your book, At My Mother's Knee, after however many years!
I know. I only go up to when I’m 18 years old as well. It’s longer than Lord of the Rings. I sat down and started it, and I did the word count, and I’d got over 100,000 words, and by that stage I wasn’t even eleven. But I’ve done lots about the family, about my mum and I have included conversations and dialogue and things like that. That’s what took up all the space. It gives people a general idea of what it was like, what life was like then and there.

Are you pleased with the final result?
I’m having panic attacks over it. I got to bed, and I think, ‘Why did I put that in?’

Is it nice to have it finished, or does it feel like something’s missing now?
No, I’m delighted to get rid of it. It became an obsession. So much so that I’ve started on the second one. I’ve left the first one on cliff-hanger, so you have to follow that up. While I’m in the habit, I’ll keep going. It’s become part of the routine, to sit down and bang out a couple of hours each day.

So you enjoy the process of writing, then?
Well, I’ve already started on a load of mini-horror stories. I used to love the Pan Horror Stories when I was a kid. They were short horror stories, and I was mad on them. So I decided to write 13 of them. And they’re very creepy. You watch these films, and you think, ‘What kind of a person thinks all of these twisted ideas up?’ And then, actually, when you sit down yourself, you realise you can be every bit as creepy yourself.

"All the local kids...were coming up to me, amazed I’d been on Doctor Who. They knew me from my show, but couldn’t care less about that. But when I was on Doctor Who, they were well impressed."

Apart from writing, what have you done with the break between series?
I went to the States. I went to Las Vegas. I hated it. Hated every minute of it. I was there two days, and then left. I absolutely couldn’t stand it. You look out of the window, and there’s the Eiffel Tower, which they’re very proud of. But there’s no irony. It’s all for real, they don’t go, "We’ve got the Eiffel Tower - wink, wink!" It’s completely devoid of camp. The entire place is soulless. Everything’s artificial. There are no showgirls, no Dean Martin, nothing like that. That’s what I thought Vegas would be like. And the food! The amount people eat! I kept saying, "Keep moving, or they’ll eat us!"

So you abandoned Vegas and went where?
LA. I like LA. Had a bit of time there. Went round to Jackie Collins’ house for dinner. She’s nice, Jackie.

Did she give you advice about writing?
No, she’s very good. She sort of leaves you to it. The one thing she did say was, "Don’t sit there worrying about a beginning, a middle and an end, just put it all down. And when it’s like a jigsaw, put it all together." And then we went to New York, which was stifling hot, but great.

I’m told you’ve also become quite a keen cook.
I always was, I just kept my mouth shut about it, because I thought people would take the mickey. People wouldn’t associate me with cooking, the same way they wouldn’t have done with animals. But I’ve always baked. I don’t like cooking boring things, I like making cakes and desserts.

So what’s your signature dish?
Definitely Strawberry Torte. That’s the one I get the requests for. But I have to be in the mood to cook. It’s not something I want to do all the time. I only do it when I feel like it. I make ice cream as well. But you’ve got to be up for it, because if you rush it, you ruin it.

The last time I spoke to you, you were heading off to Palermo for a Most Haunted Special with Yvette Fielding. What was it like?
We had a ball. We were sealed into as tomb in a castle, and did a séance in a theatre, which was very creepy, but nothing happened. And then we went to a restaurant, and had loads of wine. And then we went to the catacombs at 3am, where they hang all the dead on the wall. What freaked us out was this little girl in a coffin. It really upset us all. I felt that she shouldn’t have been there, she should have been buried. It was really sad.

And then we went and did a séance, in this terrible room where they used to do all the embalming. Up until then I was a real cynic. But we heard a voice groaning, and I absolutely levitated with fear! Then I thought I’d got the belt of my coat caught on something on the wall, and I turned around and there was nothing there. But something had been pulling it. I could feel it. It was terrifying. But that was the fun of it. It was like Scooby Do. You’re in the dark, and a ghost appears, and everyone runs, screaming. Fabulous!

You also appeared in Doctor Who, didn’t you?
Oh yeah, in the 'Invasion of the Daleks'. I was appearing as myself, on the set of the show, talking to the camera about seeing lights in the sky. I didn’t have to leave my studio. And I just appeared saying it on a TV on Doctor Who. But all the local kids were really impressed. They were coming up to me, amazed I’d been on Doctor Who. They knew me from my show, but couldn’t care less about that. But when I was on Doctor Who, they were well impressed.

"Every time we change even the tiniest thing [about the show], you wouldn’t believe the complaints we get...It’s like a song that you know really well, you like it the way you know it."

The show’s about to return for a new series. I’d ask if there’s anything new coming up, but part of its charm is that you don’t try and re-build it anew every series.
Exactly. Every time we change even the tiniest thing, you wouldn’t believe the complaints we get! You put new fabric on the sofa and there’s a discussion for around a month about whether they like it, until they forget all about it. It’s like a song that you know really well, you like it the way you know it. Change it, and they don’t like it at all. We change bits and pieces, but not much. We have new reporters on, members of the public and that, but otherwise they like the tried and tested, so we leave well alone.

Are you looking forward to getting back in the chair and getting on with the series?
I am, actually. I get bored when I’m not working - books and holidays aside. I need to go back to work. I need a routine, otherwise I go to the dogs. So yeah, I’m looking forward to going back.

The Paul O'Grady Show is shown on Channel 4 every weekday at 5pm. Find out more at www.channel4.com.

At My Mother's Knee...and Other Low Joints: The Autobiography, by Paul O'Grady
Published by: Bantam Press
Released: 18 September 2008
ISBN: 0593059255

Want more? Buy At My Mother's Knee...and Other Low Joints: The Autobiography, by Paul O'Grady, online now and save.